I AS LIFE

tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25030058680548489772012-02-16T09:43:34.923+01:00I AS LIFEI AM YOU AS YOU ARE MEKIKIhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12332126682842652624noreply@blogger.comBlogger211100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2503005868054848977.post-88089867809959431632008-06-03T16:29:00.002+02:002008-06-03T17:41:38.264+02:00s-f compassion

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience compassion as a feeling of the mind towards other human beings.I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to through caring about others justify myself for not being HERE in the moment as the breath-making excuses such as 'compassion' towards others,to not actually stand up for ME in every moment of every

KIKIhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12332126682842652624noreply@blogger.com42tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2503005868054848977.post-63731415027132429072008-05-29T23:16:00.004+02:002008-05-30T12:51:12.734+02:00s-f money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give value/worth to money,by defining it as something indispensable,as something that must be acquired.I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desirehaving money,believing without it-I wouldn't be able to survive within this world.I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define money as

KIKIhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12332126682842652624noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2503005868054848977.post-6654491875152173222008-05-28T23:18:00.004+02:002008-05-30T12:48:33.129+02:00s-f movement

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to actually believe that i am completely/entirely directing me,being directive principle of me-while pain in me feet clearly indicates 'lack' of self-movement.I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to move/direct myself,instead of allowing mind to do that for me-driving me through continuous circles of thoughts/emotions

KIKIhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12332126682842652624noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2503005868054848977.post-11047792806044817622008-05-27T16:48:00.002+02:002008-05-27T17:36:08.013+02:00s-f on s-f

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to constantly and continuously analize what is the most effective way of applying myself within and as this process -instead of just letting go-and stand HERE in absolute s-honesty,in every moment within and as the breath.I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself through anilizing to have tendencie to clinge onto knowledge

KIKIhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12332126682842652624noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2503005868054848977.post-43900585177124215842008-05-23T22:56:00.003+02:002008-05-23T23:58:24.744+02:00s-f

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to do this process for me,and me ALONE,and not for anything or anyone outside of myself.I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realise that this is my individual process,and that I have to STOP worrying about other human beings and their processes-they are responsible for themselves.I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself

KIKIhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12332126682842652624noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2503005868054848977.post-70419099168732053792008-05-21T19:46:00.005+02:002008-05-21T20:54:02.366+02:00change

month ago i realised that i had repeating patterns(acts),through m application within and as this process.evry day i had been going to sleep at same t ime-then after waking up i would usually use vocabulary purifier-then would get dressed and go for a morning walk..something that assist me starting m day with no much mind interfering.i even noticed that i had been writing in my journal..at same

KIKIhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12332126682842652624noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2503005868054848977.post-44629579929704330602008-04-16T19:36:00.003+02:002008-04-16T21:47:30.420+02:00neighbour

just when i thought it would be hrd for anyone-to couse some reaction within me..it seems that me neighbour does 'pretty good job' at it.im grateful for him..for he just showed me (without him even knowing),how much anger i still have within me.i met him f ew times,he seems like a quiet guy.but actually he is kinda guy that goes out,drink all day,come back home,and project his anger towards his

KIKIhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12332126682842652624noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2503005868054848977.post-41990822548535761662008-04-08T20:24:00.002+02:002008-04-08T22:12:41.763+02:00barber

I went to a barbershop today.My hair became long,to the point where i had to stand in front of mirror this morning fixing it.So i went to cut it in the nearest barbershop.Place was crowded.I started thinking to go home,then come back later..but that was mind telling me its boring to wait,that i should do somthing more `entertaining`.so i pushed msyelf to stay and wait for me turn.I sat there

KIKIhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12332126682842652624noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2503005868054848977.post-14814930046365663432008-04-05T20:41:00.004+02:002008-04-05T22:01:19.082+02:00leaving

I've read someones post on the forum.He wrote about wanting to leave everything behind-all material things,and move to another place.Reminded me how i wanted to do the sam e some years ago.but come to understanding that its not going to solv e anything.I just wanted to move.To go somewhere into the wild,living in the nature.but remembered the saying:wherever you go-there you are.Realising its all

KIKIhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12332126682842652624noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2503005868054848977.post-16370352452026276502008-03-28T18:34:00.004+01:002008-04-04T22:16:03.761+02:00movement

I am tired these days.Theres been a lot going on.Till now i've been mostly stoping things.Actually i stoped them quite some time ago...and stayed there...but without movement.I've stoped.and been in the period of waiting.Waiting for what?Waiting for life to direct me.and the more i stayed this way-more frustrated i got...being somwhere in between.I realised that i've been resisting to many

KIKIhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12332126682842652624noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2503005868054848977.post-56261831542959461882008-03-24T13:32:00.004+01:002008-03-24T14:38:59.345+01:00scream

Today i went to a coffey house.Brought my journal with me and did some writing there while being around all these ppl.Laud chater everywhere around me.I k new that very soon somthing is going to distract me.I experianced being there-(in and as the breath)-like phisicly working in the field.Somone would do somthing which would triger thoughts to start poping up.Thats why i went there in a first

KIKIhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12332126682842652624noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2503005868054848977.post-35752181421646222392008-03-20T19:29:00.004+01:002008-03-21T19:42:24.354+01:00touch

While typing on a keyboard I tend to loose-focus on the breath.I find typing forgivnesess on the computer--not effective that much as writing them.Thats why I allways write them with pen in m y notebook.While writing I focus on the thouch of the pen...with breath-this keeps me completly focused.Breath is foundation...but touch is what..supports me greatly.Thats why I allways have something in my

KIKIhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12332126682842652624noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2503005868054848977.post-55061836007532623772008-03-16T15:24:00.004+01:002008-03-17T18:34:04.160+01:00noise

Last days I am going more in crowded places..more intercting with other ppl,communicating,testing myseslf,seeing if there is any reactions wthin,to apply self-forgivnes for.Thats what I 'missed' before-just realized that.I kinda 'secluded' myself-me and process,all day long--went all good,but when interacting with to many ppl at once --started loosing focus.When walking in the nature,by sea shore

KIKIhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12332126682842652624noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2503005868054848977.post-68603528543637798762008-03-12T15:17:00.004+01:002008-03-13T16:31:39.915+01:00breath

I just went out for a walk.Wind is blowing which I e-njoy becouse it goes against my skin-- keeps' me here in the moment,its amazzzing how much support there is to 'keep you aware, focused on the breath.Thats why I e-njoy being in the nature,taking a walk,being' myself.Just breathing,geting away from the computer for a bit-- when sitting tomuch at computer I kinda- start 'losing' focus on

KIKIhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12332126682842652624noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2503005868054848977.post-36582349905139280002008-03-10T11:57:00.004+01:002008-03-11T14:14:41.525+01:00blogs

I just r ealized that while reading something for the first time,and have a und'rstanding of that, by reading it another time(another hour,day,month doesn't matter) I kinda see the points that didn't noticed before.Thats why I even read some of the blogs of others more than once and 'everytime realize' something new about it.While reading blogs of others I've noticed how much 'our processes are

KIKIhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12332126682842652624noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2503005868054848977.post-17376108221071905522008-03-08T14:58:00.004+01:002008-03-09T13:55:35.043+01:00laugh

Today my --friend- is coming to visit me.I know her for some years now and she-helped me with so many things.She likes sometimes to tell jokes which mostly I don't find quite 'funny' but nevertheless I laugh on them just in order to be 'polite'.Last days I heard a lot of jokes- many of them were 'funny' but a lot of them-didn't get or found not funny.Most of the stories or jokes-I hear from ppl

KIKIhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12332126682842652624noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2503005868054848977.post-1751412022048913422008-03-06T11:56:00.004+01:002008-03-06T12:41:25.810+01:00silence

When there is nothing to say,yet wanting to say something.I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to say something to someone when there is nothing to say at all.I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have myself believe that I should say something just in order to 'break' silence.I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to say

KIKIhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12332126682842652624noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2503005868054848977.post-20406733115101562832008-03-03T13:20:00.007+01:002008-03-03T14:24:37.551+01:00sleep

Till now I slept mostly 5-6 hours per day with intention to gradually come to the point where I would sleep max. 4 hours per day.Today I just did that and woke up at 4 am but made a decision that while being awake do nothing but focus on my breath and be silent and still within myself,and stay away from anything wich would entertain the mind such as watching TV or anything else for that matter.So

KIKIhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12332126682842652624noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2503005868054848977.post-35712624877341900462008-02-29T11:59:00.009+01:002008-03-03T13:16:04.174+01:00scent

Yesterday as I was walking,there was this girl passing by me,and what happend was that she had this parfume wich I defined as 'nice'.Here is where I've discovered that I still.define scent according to polarity.So this one is little 'tricky' to get over with as the reaction was so automatic that my body reacted even before the thought occured.Also this scent brought some past memories while

KIKIhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12332126682842652624noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2503005868054848977.post-72259085139145233662008-02-27T12:06:00.004+01:002008-03-03T13:11:31.886+01:00why?

It's been a couple of months now since I started this process of stoping the mind.I got all tool needed from desteni site,but missed' some points at begining and 'fell' few times but allways found where the point is being 'missed'.I applyed the knowledge given and was doing 'well' by focusing on the breath,applying self-forgivness and writing a journal but last days kinda got 'stuck' and having '

KIKIhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12332126682842652624noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2503005868054848977.post-27244985499927464382008-02-26T13:47:00.003+01:002008-02-26T16:05:49.377+01:00in begining

I grow up in a small town where any move you make was watched and if out of ordinary judged.As a kid I didn't care for other people opinions about me as I was just expresing myself,but as I grow older,fear of being different kicked in.Not giving comments on other people behavior,or not judging others could label you as boring and strange and could leave you easily without friends.But no,I didn't

KIKIhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12332126682842652624noreply@blogger.com1